Posted in Relationships

Toxic Relationships Wake Up Call

Now, I’m not a professional. I am simply a 24 year old who has some experience with this subject so everything will be from my point of view.

Toxic relationships are not limited to boyfriends/girlfriends or spouses. They included family members too. That saying blood is thicker than water is wrong. Just because someone is blood does not mean you must love them, respect them or suffer their anger or negative energy.

If you read my post ” Four Years of Hell” then you may know that I have a whole group of family members I haven’t spoken with in six years. They horrible, negative, and frankly their mental stability is not something that is good for me.

You can not live your life to suit others. You are not here to make other people happy or to take care of them. No matter if the person is your boyfriend or mother.

You do not owe anyone a damn thing. If you had the type pf parents that loved to say “you should be thankful you live here” or “you should take care of me because I took care of you” – that is not love. They are your parents/ caregiver, that is their job. It is not the job of the child to grow up and owe the parents anything. That is toxic thinking. You don’t owe family members help, money, a place to stay- nothing.

Now, do I sound insensitive? Do I sound hateful? Yes, probably. But here’s the thing;

If someone makes you feel bad about who you are, cut them out. They are toxic to you. You do not deserve that. You deserve support and love.

Point is- CUT OUT TOXIC PEOPLE! No matter who they are. You owe NOTHING to no body! You deserve to live this one life in happiness, surrounded by those who love and support you. Not by those who try to change you, or degrade you.

Posted in Relationships

My dad.

Yesterday was fathers day.This day, since his death has never held much meaning to me. Ive not been sad or mad, just not affected.However, yesterday that changed.Yesterday I cried so much I got a headache. At first I was mad for feeling this way. But now I can see that after almost 11 years, Im finally feeling.I am feeling the loss of my father, my role model, my dad. After he died, I never really grieved. I went back to school, and carried on with life. Not so much by choice, more by force. So I’ve decided to share somethings about my father.Like how strong of a person her was. He didn’t have the best parents himself, nor the best upbringing. He was married young and had kids young. He didn’t get to finish his teen years, yet he took responsibility and became an amazing dad. I was raised by him, my mother was never in the picture.He used to take me fishing. We would packs snack, drinks and spend the day either at the park or at this pond he loved so much.We would ride bikes to the Englewood park to play tennis on days he didn’t work. We had days filled with so much fun, that I never knew we didn’t have much money.My childhood, may have bit a bit odd but I was loved. My father was my best friend. He used to paint my nails and braid my hair. Goodness, I remember he would put my hair in a ponytail for school… it would be so tight and perfect it was a facelift for me.I remember the Christmas he literally got every single thing I asked for. I remember the year I asked for Britany Spears perfume and I got it.I remember days he would get his beer and snack, sit in his recliner and “watch” a race or football game… but really he would just fall asleep. I remember him teaching me to bait a hook, and to remove the fish scales in the kitchen sink.I remember him always calling me bug.I remember him and I taking walks in the summer and talking about what life would be like when I grew up. Boy, we were wrong. Although, I did leave Ohio and travel some.My dad taught me something that has stuck with me- in life you have to make you happy.It may not always be easy, but being selfish is a good thing. You have to be happy in order to be the best you.For anyone who may have known me in school, you probably never really knew anything had even happened. For those of you who supported and loved me thank you.For those of you who bully, well you suck. You never know what is going on in someone elses life.You see, Im not writing this for anyone but myself. Ive learned that sometimes sharing is the best therapy….

Posted in Relationships

Hobbies with in a Marriage

Does your significant other have a hobby or hobbies that drastically differ from yours? Or maybe their hobbies are on the more expensive side…

I can assure you, it is normal.. at least, I think it is. Well, I should clarify, I’m not speaking about gambling or dangerous activities as such more along the lines or material objects.

In my marriage I enjoy the artistic hobbies like sewing, baking, DIY projects and now blogging. While my husband enjoys electronics, gadgets and mostly video games and everything there is to do with them. To help show you his love of video games he was accepted into The Art Institute of San Francisco for video game development.

Now, I am in no way shape or form bashing video games in this post, its actually some of the greatest memories when first started dating in Japan. However, as you can see….. our hobbies don’t over lap and are on completely different ends of the spectrum. This is not to say this hinders our day to day marriage but it has been the root of some… or rather many arguments.

When you are a new couple, and even when you have kiddos, you have to adjust to a new routine and life style. Sometimes this may mean giving up or re configuring hobby time. For my husband and I this was a struggle. Video games took up our tv, took up family time… but so did my hobbies. I would get a bit engrossed in my projects and let other things go way side.

So, I’ve sat down with my husband and come up with some solutions to try to help you solve issues regarding hobby tiffs and tats.

First off, COMMUNICATION! It’s key in any relationship. Especially if a hobby is bothering you and you feel like its taking time away from other important issues and time. So, sit down and talk.

Try discussing setting aside time for each of you to have “you time” . That way its planned out and wont interfere with family time, or other important activities.

Try sharing your hobby with your partner! Even if its not really for them, make it fun! Get some pizza and a drink and have a good time!

I’d love to say our disagreements were fixed with one simple conversation… but I’d be lying to you. With any problem within a marriage it takes time to resolve and figure out what works for you and your significant other. I’d be happy to hear any other suggestions you may have or used to help you!

My Husbands PC set up. Not pictured is all the consoles and games he has.