Morning…

noun

“the act of a person who mourns; sorrowing or lamentation the conventional manifestation of sorrow for a person’s death, especially by the wearing of black clothes or a black armband, the hanging of flags at half-mast, etc.the outward symbols of such sorrow, as black garments.the period or interval during which a person grieves or formally expresses grief, as by wearing black garments. “https://www.dictionary.com/browse/mourning

You can mourn so much more than a person. You can mourn memories that become hazy. You can mourn the children you never had; That love that you never found. That family you got to have and the ideas that never came to be.

I find myself to be a rather deep depression these past few days. I find myself sad over people who have never cared for me as they should have. I find myself angry that my uncle that was so much fun, yet he died with our relationship non-existent and an alcoholic. The siblings that hate me for the life I had, yet don’t even know me. The brother who said he would be there after our dad died, yet he never was.

There are so many things these days I wish happened different but I know the past is the past. Some one told me I was mourning was could have been but never was.

I’m battling so much in my mind. So for now, I will blast my emo music and dance with my kids.

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