The Last of Hell.

This is the 3rd and final post(maybe) – The ending of the 4 years in Hell.

Ill just jump right in and say, I was grounded my entire 11th grade school year and summer. I mean no tv, no radio. I had homework and my room. So i read a lot. I read My Sisters Keeper in one day. That book is more than 400 pages.

On top of all the restrictions I was living with, in came the hatefulness and trust issues. In came all the abuse and mental fuckery.

What do I mean? Well, lets just say no matter what I said to Rhonda and Jim, I was lying. Even if I had the proof, I was lying. I forged it, and lied to get help or whatever the situation was.

11 Grade, I still held good grades. I had finally gotten my first B on my report card and good god that was hell. I mean seriously, a B. Rhonda and Jim acted like the earth was crumbling. Me knowing what type of grade her kids had gotten, I was amazed that I was getting in trouble for my B.

College looking had finally came to time. I was set on going to Eastern Kentucky University. However, They denied that. I was told I wasn’t allowed to attend college out of state. That I wasn’t allowed to apply to out of state. I knew in my heart college was my way out of Ohio, and now it was being taken away from me. I tried my best to convince them, but nothing worked. Shit, they weren’t even paying for my schooling so I honestly never figured out why I wasn’t allowed to go where I wanted to.

One day a friend of mine who was in ROTC suggested the military. I was not into the idea until I started researching it. I knew it would be hard and I didn’t really want to enlist but at the moment it looked like the only way I’d get away. When I introduced the idea of the Navy, Rhondas’ response :

“well you’ll need to lose weight” Mind you, I’m 5’8″ and weight maybe 160lbs. I was fine in the weight category. We contacted a recruiter and got the enlistment process started and right before I got to sign my DEP forms, Rhonda force stopped everything. I wasn’t 18 yet so she would have to sign consent and I guess she wasn’t about that. I found a way to graduate early, but since in included Summer school, I was told they didn’t have time for that. Of course she derailed everything so I couldn’t enlist and leave. She was going to lose power over me the moment I left and that just wasn’t allowed.

After I turned 18, she allowed me to restart my paper work again. This time I signed up. From that moment on, life got horrible.

I was a prisoner to that house. School was my only outlet until she ruined that too. I had a math teacher Mr. B. And in his class, I had struggled with certain math topics, Its just not my strong suit. One of my test scores was a D. She had sen this grade, but hadn’t brought it up. Mr. B let us retake the test, and my score changed to a B. Again, she saw my grade change and didn’t ask me why…. instead Rhonda emailed him and asked what lie I told him to get him to change my grade.. then accused my of well things.

He ignored the email so she sent me to school with a hand written letter by her for me… to give to him and have him sign it. The letter basically “informed” him of horrible I was and that I lie and I deserved the D not a B because somehow I lied and got my grade changed.

Mind you Im standing there while he reads this letter. All i could say to him was that I was sorry, and that she had some issues and that this wouldn’t be the only letter like this. He could see something was off and asked me if my home life was okay… I lied and said It was okay, just rough at times. He signed the letter… and told Rhonda I deserved the B and was a good kid and student. This of course got me into more trouble at home. But I was so used to it all I just learned to accept what was.

She would email and call teachers nearly every week asking why something was the way it was.

She would not let my go to my DEP meetings, which were mandatory for me. Rhonda would got through my back pack and god forbid she found eased writing or some thing in Spanish she didn’t know.

You see in my Spanish class during my senior year we would have to talk about our weekends in Spanish. SO one weekend , she had come home from a hospital stay. I had to write down “she came home” in order for my to translate it and tell it… all she had to do was ask me or rather translate the words on google to see I was talking about her coming from the hospital and that she was okay. Instead, she told me I had been on the phone and hung up so she wouldn’t know I was doing so, and the writing was a note to whoever I was talking to… like I’m not kidding she is demented. Paranoid and demented towards me. Like I was out to ruin her life.

Anyway- I’m rambling…

It really hard for me to write down all the details because Id never be done. Everyday was something. Everyday there was a new story. Then she began to tell people her lies. All her friends thought I had been kicked out of boot camp because that’s what she told them. When I showed up in Ohio and ran into a few of her people, they were shocked to know that I was in my 3rd year of the navy, and that I was never kicked out and that I now had a son. The craziness of this lady and her stories were amazing. She wanted everyone to know that I was this horrible person, but in reality she is horrible. After my brother had overdosed and died in 2017, I texted her. I asked her how it felt that everyone walked away from her and she caused his death. She tried to go off but I won. I got the last say. Her daughter Christina tried to threaten me to a fight if she ever saw me because I told off her mother. Which is sad, because like mother like daughter. I was abused for 4 years and no one stepped in. No one ever asked Rhonda why she treated me the way she did. Everyone sat back and watched me be tormented and left me alone.

My favorite incident- I had forgotten about an early release from school one day. Well she had taken the hide a key, so I was sitting on the porch waiting for her to get home… She pulls into the garage and shuts the door before I could get in… She waits probably 15 minutes before she lets me in the front door. The moment I step foot inside I was told to stand in the middle of the living room. She asked me why I didn’t tell her about the release. I told her I forgot about it. She called me a dumb bitch and made me stand there for probably 10 minutes. Literally, I just had to stand there. She finally let me go, but not before my punishment was handed down. I had to write 100 times that “I will not lie or forget”… I was sent to my room to do so, on top of the 4 hours of homework I had to do. Like, guys- I got called a Dumb Bitch at like 17 years old because I forgot about something that wasn’t even important. Of course she actually knew about it as I heard her tell Jim that night.

Wow, this post is kind of all over the place. Sorry… I honestly don’t know if I could write this any other way. My memories and thoughts about this time is always scattered about.

These posts really are not for anyone but myself. For me to know that I survived 4years of the bullshit and I still came out better than Rhonda. I made my life for myself and I know that I beat her. Petty? Maybe but I made it. I didn’t need a moment of her help.

I came out stronger not weaker. Those years were hard. Some days I’m not sure how I made it out. But I did, I made it out and left her behind. I took her power over me away.

I guess all that I left to say right now is- Never allow someone to hold power over you. Break that bond and fly free.

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