It’s common. Every one has a fear of something.
For some, Phobia is a better word. Some are rational while others may be irrational.
1 a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger
b(1): an instance of this emotion(2): a state marked by this emotion
–As a child you may have some fear of the dark or being alone. Eventually you may grow out of that fear and develop a new one of maybe spiders or clowns. But as an adult we fear money struggles, relationship issues, school, jobs…. an endless list of possible fears.
Now, add in being coming a parent to the already stressful task of adulthood and the fears shift with urgency. Not only do you have to provide for yourself but now you must provide for a tiny human…. one who is completely dependent upon you.
So, whats my biggest fear since becoming a Mother? My children growing up and looking back on their childhood and not feeling important or loved enough by me. Now, that stems from my own family dynamic and lack of my own biological mother and the death of my father. Aside from that, I worry that I’m failing them. I have mental health issues, and body image issues and although I do my best to not let that interfere with my parenting, it does. There are days filled with me on the couch doing my best to keep my eyes open and some days where I go to sleep hoping my baby wakes up and wants to cuddle so I know I’m still needed to comfort him. —
So, The above was written yesterday. Today as I am back reading all that, I realize how different this post has become. It was meant to be simple yet somehow it got deeper than I intended. But, I’m going to leave it all, because I feel like this is therapy for me., Its a way for me to express what I think and hopefully along the way, I help someone out and shoe them they are not alone.
So, If you are a mom out there feeling like you are drowning in fear of not being good enough here’s a reminder: You are doing great. You are doing your best. You are amazing and worthy.