Posted in Parenthood

Potty Training My Stubborn 3.5 Yr Old

Hello there fellow parents!

I am not a professional anything, but I wanted to share my stress free potty training strategy with you all!

Now, full disclosure, we have tried this damn potty thing for over a year now with no success, a stressed out kid and stressed out me and husband….

Step one- do not push it! Seriously, every kid no matter the gender is ready at different ages. I’ve seen kids getting out of diapers at 2 and some at 4. It happens when they are ready.

Step 2-personally, i say skip the pull up stage. Go from diaper to underwear. Let them pick the underwear. Ya know, fun colors, Characters…. and buy a lot of them! We have pull ups for night time and maybe naps if you child still take them.

Step Three- just ask! Ask your kiddo if they want to go potty. DO NOT PESTER THEM! It adds anxiety. I say every 30 minutes is plenty to bug them. I can’t speak for girls, but little boys start to show very obvious physical signs when they need to go (LOL).

> Basically one day, I asked Damien if he wanted to go to the potty. He said yes, so i took his diaper off… which didn’t go over so well until he got super cool underwear to put on! I simply reminded him to go sit on the toilet every 30 minutes during the first day. He only had on the underwear. It was a slow process, and frankly we were nervous about him pooping.

I made a super simply sticker potty chart for Damien to fill out as he went. He really helped him stay motivated. You don’t have to do big rewards either. His rewards were a small dinosaur, chocolate chips, new underwear and a super long toy filled bubble bath.

We chose not to use a training potty. I got a step stool for kids, and a seat insert that sits on out toilet seat. I wanted him to get comfortable with the actual bathroom and toilet. Which worked out great. Prior attempts were done with the training potty seat and he had zero intrest in a real toilet… so I wanted to bypass that this time.

Potty training shouldn’t be stressful but it is. I won’t lie. Honestly its like 90% us parents and 10% the kiddos. If they have an accident, just clean it up, and let them know it happens. Don’t get mad, it just makes it harder for them.

I think that if you go into this thinking, it is what it is. And that you know you are about to clean up pee and poop then it is way easier! I just decided that he is 3.5 years old and that he would have accidents and that it was okay. I don’t get mad, and he doesn’t get upset. We clean it up and move on.

I hope this helps!

Posted in Parenthood

Fear

It’s common. Every one has a fear of something.

For some, Phobia is a better word. Some are rational while others may be irrational.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fear

FEAR:

1 a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

b(1): an instance of this emotion(2): a state marked by this emotion

–As a child you may have some fear of the dark or being alone. Eventually you may grow out of that fear and develop a new one of maybe spiders or clowns. But as an adult we fear money struggles, relationship issues, school, jobs…. an endless list of possible fears.

Now, add in being coming a parent to the already stressful task of adulthood and the fears shift with urgency. Not only do you have to provide for yourself but now you must provide for a tiny human…. one who is completely dependent upon you.

So, whats my biggest fear since becoming a Mother? My children growing up and looking back on their childhood and not feeling important or loved enough by me. Now, that stems from my own family dynamic and lack of my own biological mother and the death of my father. Aside from that, I worry that I’m failing them. I have mental health issues, and body image issues and although I do my best to not let that interfere with my parenting, it does. There are days filled with me on the couch doing my best to keep my eyes open and some days where I go to sleep hoping my baby wakes up and wants to cuddle so I know I’m still needed to comfort him. —

So, The above was written yesterday. Today as I am back reading all that, I realize how different this post has become. It was meant to be simple yet somehow it got deeper than I intended. But, I’m going to leave it all, because I feel like this is therapy for me., Its a way for me to express what I think and hopefully along the way, I help someone out and shoe them they are not alone.

So, If you are a mom out there feeling like you are drowning in fear of not being good enough here’s a reminder: You are doing great. You are doing your best. You are amazing and worthy.

Posted in Uncategorized

Past Present Future

You can’t change the past but you can learn from it. You can use the past and its lessons to better your future.

You can’t change the past but you can learn from it. You can use the past and its lessons to better your future.

Now, why did i type the exact same thing twice? Because it is true. The past may be full of pain, suffering, darkness and exhaustion…. but you can dig that up- pull it close and use it to push yourself. To better yourself. To better your future. To reach all those dreams you once day dreamed about, make them a reality.

As children we are told we can do anything we put our minds to. Yet, as we grow older and some same wiser…. we lose that thought. Why? We let life beat us down soo far down that we forget, We can do anything. It may take blood, sweat and tears- but we can achieve anything we dream about.

You can’t change the past but you can learn from it. You can use the past and its lessons to better your future.

You can’t change the past but you can learn from it. You can use the past and its lessons to better your future.

Posted in Health, Parenthood

3 Years…

It has been 3 years since I had my miscarriage.

Id like to say that it doesn’t weigh on me at times or that I don’t think about it. However, I do. More than I’d like to admit. I am so very thankful for my children. I am thankful for Damien and having him by surprise and thankful for Ronin for helping me move on some from the miscarriage.

For women who go through this situation multiple times, my heart goes out to you. You are so very strong and brave for living day to day with this type of loss.

So many of you don’t get to be upset especially if its early on or you have a baby following a miscarriage… well, they are wrong.

I have a hard time reading stories or watching movies if a miscarriage is involved. Its a life event that I buried, and didn’t talk about to really anyone. No one really knew we were pregnant and in reality we had only know for a bit over a week ourselves.

This isnt a pity post, or a cry or pray for me post. Its just to let you know you are not alone. You are allowed to grieve this event and child however you wish to.

You lost a baby, and that is something that isn’t easily moved on from.

I expected to have that baby, but the universe had other plans.

Posted in Parenthood

Food and Toddlers

This Post is not sponsored by any brand or company that I mention, I’m sharing because we enjoy the items.

Breakfast: Oatmeal and fruit, bagels with a spread, muffin and fruit, Vans Brand Waffles (gluten free), Eggs with dairy free yogurt is a good easy meal as well. Hard boiled eggs can double as a snack full of protein!

Lunch: left overs! PB&J on gluten free bread or wraps/tortillas, soups, some days they just have a “snack tray” for lunch.

Dinner: depending on the type of day we may have had, we dont have dinner rules. Some nights we have a “proper” dinner, other nights the boys get cereal and some random stuff. Breakfast for dinner is always fun, everything listed can become dinner! I switch up the sides with veggies, rices, fruits, smoothies are great too!

Snacks: Fruit, Fruit&Grain Bars (look for GF options) We buy Kind/ RX bars, LaraBar, KidCliff Organic Zbar, kashi, and sunbelt bakery bars . Rice cakes, pop corn is a good snack (but a chocking hazard for certain ages).

-Fruit is staple in my home. Every meal has a fruit. If they wont eat a veggie at least they are getting antioxidants and vitamins anyway!

Snack trays are a great exposure tool! Muffin tins and fill with all different stuff! Fruits, veggies, dips, something you know they will eat(safe food) is always a most.

Inspiration: I am not big on using Pintrest. Well, really I don’t get how to work the site so I look on Instagram and Facebook and just basic google searches. Instagram has been amazing I will add the page names at the end of this article so you can check them out as well.

Baking Ideas: I like simple quick and easy! I do have to be careful as both my kiddos have allergies and sensitivities( which I detailed in a previous post). Betty Crocker has great little packs of muffins mixes, I use coconut milk and bake! Homemade anything is always great as well. I recommend muffins because you can use them as breakfast and snacks, you can hide veggies in them, all kinds of ideas! Plus, add a few sprinkles and some Icing and you have a “cupcake”.

I also suggest maybe purchasing some fun plates and utensils for your kiddos! Definitely seemed to help my kids eat better.

Instagram Accounts That I follow for tips/tricks and Inspiration:

bentgo – great resource to use for fun lunch boxes and packed lunches!

kids.eat.in.color – has a few free guides as well to help you out with picky eaters

theallergychef – has some resources to help more in detail as well!

I will be sharing some “recipes” soon as well to help out! I like simple and easy. My kiddos love the colors and finger foods! Hope this helps you out some. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Posted in Parenthood

Toddler Times

Hey everyone!

So as many of you know, I have two toddler sons and I am a stay at home mama. I’d like to take some time to discuss activities and schedules and day to day planning with you. I would also love to hear feed back for you to see what has worked for you and your families as well!

Stuffed ball and outside is all you need

First off- I will admit, I have big plans but have a rough time sticking to them every day. I am working on it, especially because I know that the more structured/ scheduled the day is and consistently, my boys behave better and seem happier. Do you find that schedules help you and your kiddos out? Do you wing every day?

I have found that my kids don’t love breakfast… they enjoy something small but like a later breakfast or mid morning snack. Some screen time and activities for the day. So, Here is a broken down list of inexpensive/ budget friendly activities to do on a day to day basis:

Coloring and Drawing! You can get all the needed books and crayons at dollar stores! I go about once a month to get new coloring books. They usually have the good ones like avengers, paw patrol, mickey mouse and some others. I spend maybe $10.00 for everything including stickers,

Finger Paints! Sometimes I can find some at the dollar store, other wise walmart! Crayola has great ones for a bit more money that are super easy to clean up with water or wet wipes.

Puzzles! My 3 yr old loves them! Dollar stores usually carry some. You can also make your own. YouTube has some fun DIY videos on that.

Bubbles! Inside or outside… yes I said inside. All kids love bubbles! Cheap and lots of play!

Bath time can also be play time. Amazon has so many awesome bath toys now its crazy. Some bubbles, boats, animals, anything even a cup makes bath times extra fun.

Imagination play- Blocks, legos, Lincoln logs, magnetic tiles… getting to build with their hands and imagination is a great bonding time plus its great for fine motor skills! Double win right there!

Don’t forget to get involved. Sometimes we just need to put our phones down and get on the floor and play! Dance parties, banking and cooking together are always fun. My boys love to take balls, dinosaurs and a few cars outside to play with too. Seriously, they never get bored lol.

When we go to the grocery store my husband and I like to involve the kiddos as well, Letting them pick out a snack or drink… putting items in the cart. Anything and everything can be made into a learning and teaching activity! I hope these ideas help you!

Now Schedules– I suggest start by finding what order works for you. for us its:

Breakfast/ tv/ activity and snack/ play with toys/ lunch and naps/ play or activity/ dinner/ bath/ snack / brush teeth and bed time story

At least roughly in that order. Bed time for my oldest is 8-830 most nights. If its been a rough day then 730-8pm. Im still working with my youngest to adhere to a bed time, but both kids wake up between 730-830 am on their own.

I kind of followed my youngest sleepy cues to go with naps times. Which I would say 6 out of 7 days they stick to 1-3pm nap times. For some they may say this is crazy, but its just what Ive found works for my boys. I have learned that it takes one day to ruin a set schedule and about 4 days for my kids to get back on track.

I would love to hear what you do, and what activities you and your kids do!

All the beads and skills
Posted in Health, Parenthood

Food Issues With A 3 Year Old

I’d like to explain my kiddos food allergies and issues. Its not simple and yet its not difficult to understand.

Damien is 3 1/2 years old. Short life so far, yet we have been through so much with him when it comes to his food issues.

Here’s a list of his sensitivities and allergies:

  • Milk/ Dairy intolerant
  • Meat… especially hamburger intolerant
  • Gluten sensitive, but not intolerant
  • processed sugar sensitive
  • dye coloring sensitive

All these can be triggers to his Cyclic Vomiting Condition. Meaning, if he eats these items or too much of these, they can trigger 2 to 8 days of vomiting for Damien. He doesn’t actually get sick, just pukes. No fever, he still plays some, but he doesn’t eat or drink much. The vomit itself if odd as well. It’s not really normal puke, its like a mucus, frothy white slime that comes up.

How do I get around all this with him being so young? Well, Damien actually understands that certain things can make him sick. He knows cheese and milk will hurt his belly. I have made it a point to get him learn his allergies for safety reasons. So far, It has worked out great for us and our family.

Damien can’t drink almond milk as it has same of the same properties as meats, it makes him vomit. So, coconut milk it is! Which he only gets with cereal or in baked goods, and small doses like that. He does get to eat sugary fruit snacks, but we get lots of organic fruit bars. Kashi is a favorite brand, and we look for dairy free and gluten free when we can find it. Vans brand is great for this! He loves fruit, so berries are always a snack. Damien still gets to eat like any other kid but sometimes its at a limit or just a different brand or home made. Muffins are great for breakfast or a snack.Oatmeal with berries and chocolate chips make for a great breakfast and he gets a treat! Damien loves water so that’s mostly what he drinks. We do get fruit juices but only once in a while. None the less, he knows no different.

I will add to the resource page links for cyclic vomiting.

Posted in Relationships

Toxic Relationships Wake Up Call

Now, I’m not a professional. I am simply a 24 year old who has some experience with this subject so everything will be from my point of view.

Toxic relationships are not limited to boyfriends/girlfriends or spouses. They included family members too. That saying blood is thicker than water is wrong. Just because someone is blood does not mean you must love them, respect them or suffer their anger or negative energy.

If you read my post ” Four Years of Hell” then you may know that I have a whole group of family members I haven’t spoken with in six years. They horrible, negative, and frankly their mental stability is not something that is good for me.

You can not live your life to suit others. You are not here to make other people happy or to take care of them. No matter if the person is your boyfriend or mother.

You do not owe anyone a damn thing. If you had the type pf parents that loved to say “you should be thankful you live here” or “you should take care of me because I took care of you” – that is not love. They are your parents/ caregiver, that is their job. It is not the job of the child to grow up and owe the parents anything. That is toxic thinking. You don’t owe family members help, money, a place to stay- nothing.

Now, do I sound insensitive? Do I sound hateful? Yes, probably. But here’s the thing;

If someone makes you feel bad about who you are, cut them out. They are toxic to you. You do not deserve that. You deserve support and love.

Point is- CUT OUT TOXIC PEOPLE! No matter who they are. You owe NOTHING to no body! You deserve to live this one life in happiness, surrounded by those who love and support you. Not by those who try to change you, or degrade you.

Posted in Health

PCOS Update

Hi all! I know I have briefly spoke about my diagnosis of PCOS. It has been a little over a month on my new care plan and I wanted to share it with you, and maybe it can help someone else!

First of all, it took nearly six years to get the doctors to say this is what I have rather than just try to push birth control on me. I know many women have struggled for so many more years than myself, so I feel very thankful I finally got a doctor who listened to me and my concerns.

The first thing that changed was I have been taking Metformin. Which is actually medication typically taken by diabetics. However, it aids the body in processing carbs. Something I didnt know, is that with PCOS you may crave carbs more, but you body doesnt process them properly which can lead to weight gain. And if any of you suffer with this , you know how hard it is to lose weight when you have PCOS, no matter how healthy you eat or how much you exercise.

So, I take metformin daily and it has helped me in losing some weight in the past month. It is a touchy med, so if you eat a lot of carbs like have a pizza night prepare for a night spent in the bathroom. So feeding off that, I am working on eating less carbs.

Water is your best friend. Having this lovely hormonal issue, raises your internal temp. Meaning, you probably sweat or are very hot ALL THE TIME! Yes, this is happening to me. So stay hydrated. For every sugary drink you drink, consume double that in water. Plus, cutting out the sugary drinks can help with weight and the cysts and pain during your “monthly” cycles.

Now, the best part- the menstrual pain. Yes, it hurts. Id much rather give birth again then deal with the cramps at times. Basically what happens- for me at least- cysts form prior to my period each month. Then rupture during my cycle. The first few days are horrible. And sometimes it eases up and sometimes not. Luckily, my cycle has shortened since being on meds and adjusting my diet some.

As far as I know, there isn’t a cure other than having a full hysterectomy. But for some ladies there are some ways to help ease some of the issues. This is all I’ve figured out for now. But I hope to find out more and share. PCOS and other female hormone problems are not talked about enough. So many women suffer and assume that its normal and its not.

Posted in Uncategorized

Room Refresh & Mind Refresh

So, do you ever just get the feeling to redo a room? Refresh the decor or furniture?

That’s me all the time. However currently, I’m all about repurposing and reusing what I have. So I updated this little table. We painted it olive green and black. I already have the “memories” from the dollar tree. I dried a rose from a bouquet my husband got me for mother’s day. I did purchase the peace lily, which I will repot as soon as I pick out a cute pot! It’s surrounded by crystals and sage. I call this my “Hippy Table”. I look at it and it makes me happy. It cost me $8, for the plant, that’s it. I moved around my desk and dresser to open the room up some. Ill be adding some new wall decor and that’s it!

Its funny how a simply room redo can make your heart so happy. Sometimes we feel stale because our surroundings get stale. I’m a huge supporter of moving your furniture around as often as you’d like to. Ill share some easy and inexpensive DIY decor and dollar store decor soon!

Basically, all this to say…. make you happy. Make your home reflect you and your soul. Make it a peaceful, calm. Crazy loud place. Whatever you see in your mind, make it so!